Don't let the word love define your LOVE
Love is the most powerful emotion a human being can experience. The strange think is, that almost nobody knows what love is. Why is it so difficult to find love? That is easy to understand, if you know that the word "love" is not the same as one's feeling of love.
The word "love" is used and abused for the expression of different sets of feelings.
The word love is used as an expression of affection towards someone else (I love you) but it also expresses pleasure (I love chocolate). To make it a little more complicated, the word "love" also expresses a human virtue that is based on compassion, affection and kindness. This is a state of being, that has nothing to do, with something or someone outside yourself. This is the purest form of Love.
The ancient Greek used 7 words to define the different states of love:
Storge: natural affection, the love you share with your family.
Philia: the love that you have for friends.
Eros: sexual and erotic desire kind of love (positive or negative)
Agape: this is the unconditional love, or divine love
Ludus: this is playful love, like childish love or flirting.
Pragma: long standing love. The love in a married couple.
Philautia: the love of the self (negative or positive)
These are 7 different kind of feelings. The love you feel for your partner is not the same as the love you feel for your mother. Even the love for your partner changes in time. You feel different emotions for different situations and people.
But still, we use the same word. It is easy to understand that a confusion is easy made while communicating. I can say "I love you" to two different people (and mean it), but I am actually feeling in a different way.
This confusion is not only the case while 2 people are talking, your own brain does not get it.
What you feel is controlled by the right side of your brain and language is controlled by your left side. If you use the word "love" 10 times a day with different situations, it losses power. Your left part or your brain does not get fully activated when you really mean "I love you" and want to get exited about it. 50% of your brain is a lot.
The first thing that you need to do is learn the differences of the (7?) states of love. Not the words, but how they feel. It is easy if you recognize the words. It is basic training. Awareness, that is the secret to love.
Love is a practice, it is not something you find or don't find. You can practice love for the rest of your life.
Don't abuse the word love. Use other words where you are not addressing emotion towards other people.
Example: I love chocolate, becomes: I enjoy chocolate. I love my job, becomes: I have passion for what I do.
Enjoying, loving and passion are 3 different emotions. It is essential to learn (again) the true meaning of words, not merely to communicate with someone else, but also so learn to experience them. Words are very powerful instruments. Not only to communicate with others, but also with your self. The words you use, creates awareness and eventually your reality.
If you use words wisely, you can learn to recognize what kind of love you are feeling, and enjoy the different kinds of love. With one person of different ones.
If you don't know how to find love with in you, you will never find it outside you.
Words are agreements to express ideas or feelings. The meaning of words is not absolute, it is always a personal interpretation. The group of feelings associated with the word "love" is difficult to understand, and even more difficult to express to other person. Let put is this way: it is impossible with only one word.
With the creation of a word, you can give it a special meaning. Some lovers create words to express what they feel to each other. A word creates and agreement or memories. This moments can be repeated when you use that word or when you think about it.
In other languages exist words, related to love, that expresses different situations that don't have a translation to English. When you know this words, you recognize this feelings. You get more grip in what you are experiencing.
Beautiful words in other languages:
Yuanfen (Chinese): A love relationship that has been established by lot, based on principles of Chinese culture.
Mamihlapinatapei (Yaghan): A look that without words is shared by two people who want to initiate something, but neither start.
Cafuné (Brazilian Portugees): Slowly stroking your fingers through someone else's hair.
Retrouvailles (France): The happiness of seeing someone again after a long time.
La Douleur Exquise (France): The enormous pain in your heart when you desire someone you cannot have.
Ya'aburnee (Arabic): The hope that you will die earlier than the other, so you don't need to live without the other.
Forelsket (Nordic): The euphoria you feel when you fall in love for the first time.
Saudade (Portugees): The feeling of longing for someone you love, but is far away.
This "moments" are so important in other cultures that they have words to express them. My point is, don't use just one word to define your love. Learn this "words" and recognize them when you are living them.
With love, you get what you put in
Love is an emotion in action. You can learn how to feel and cultivate your love... First learn and know the different situations of love. Learn how to recognize them when you are feeling them. Then you go and share your love with others.
Love between 2 people can only begin if the interaction is based on truth, trust and respect. That is something you start giving. This is essential to grown mutual love between 2 individuals. If the other person gives you wat you give, then you start feeling love for each other and it can grow...
It is not difficult to understand love, once you know how love works.
It is very easy to fall in love with someone. The difficulty is to stay in love. But if it is difficult to stay in love, that means, that it is not the love of your life. It is a love experience. Love is always beautiful, if it is not beautiful, it is not love. Time to move on. Sometimes, love just fades away. It is better to move on when you don't feel anything, then when you feel the opposite of love.
Finding your loved one or a relationship...
If you want to find the love of your life, start being aware of your use of the word love. Saying and thinking I want to find the love of my life and not I want a relationship is fundamental. You find what you are looking for.
"Being in a relationship" is a marketing term invented in magazines. Everyone that is not single is in a relationship. To address a large group of people it is perfect, but it is to vague to define your personal situation.
The only important question for you should be: "Am I experiencing love or not?"
This is the first philosophy essay forming a series under the name: "Natural Philosophy" about the most important matters of life, trying to define a "Theory of everything". Continue reading here.
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Within the tesseract, the mythic hero makes contact with his daughter as a ghost, a memory: via language, books, a watch. Why a library, why a wristwatch, why books within a black hole? The answer to that question has no logic, there is no science for it “bad” or otherwise; it is very simply that the filmmaker has intentionally chosen those things for a reason, and to deny that is fairly ignorant about how movies work.
What are the things that we can pass down before the dust takes us all? Nothing digital, but physical objects at least cannot be erased. The writing you make in the margins of a book will travel through time in a way an ebook never can (I thank William Gibson for this personal and heartfelt illumination).
Cooper tells his daughter early in the film: “We become our children’s memories.” He actually has to literally do that. What we are observing is the process of how our lives run down and we are consecrated to memory, visualized as an infinite library. It’s fucking incredible.
Some have criticized this notion of becoming your children’s memory as self absorbed. I don’t really follow. I hate to break it to you, but we are all destined to become someone’s memory. Interstellar knows that, but is not a movie concerned with death, as much as the effects of time on human lives. Caine’s character flatly states it: “I’m not afraid of death, I’m afraid of time.” I’ll give you that he does quote Dylan Thomas a little too much, but then again how can one be annoyed with a reference to poets in a very expensive movie, another endangered species?
Murphy, the daughter, finally decodes and reconciles quantum mechanics with general relativity, having been handed essential data from the other side of a singularity. She does so with the aid of a stopped, glitching watch, a sigil of atemporality, a signifier that time has lost all meaning, a device often passed down as an heirloom. The event horizon and the human desire to explore leads us to insights we pass down in time. This happens all the time; when we inherit books, ideas, and the artifacts of what our families and friends were. In the end this grandiose movie about traveling through space comes down on the side of family, knowledge, love, and books.
So there we are, in the theater, watching the movie, offered an extradimensional perspective by the language of filmmaking. What’s remarkable about us is that we can conceive of transcending limitations, and this is maybe what all true science fiction is (for movies now are awash in power fantasies with the production of science fiction but so few ideas): an attempt to open doors to all the quantum possibilities of what might be.
None of them will ever come true, but our relationship with the science fictional future is always predicated, even most cynically, upon hope that there is a future. In both Interstellar and William Gibson’s 2014 novel The Peripheral, a disaster is averted with information passed down from the future of humanity. I take this to mean that we have the ability to imagine a future in which humans understand better. Which means it’s a viable possibility. Gibson has said, “the future is already here, it’s just not evenly distributed yet”. For a moment, watching a movie offers us a glimpse into the yearning, the longing, the hope we had for the future and our place in it. We can look forward in time.
As the film nears conclusion we are given one of its slyest images. Apocalypse is contained as a rural American farmhouse, within a museum, now a relic, a rarely visited tourist spot. The suffering of those who will endure the Anthropocene just might someday fade into recorded testimony. Interstellar asks us for a final inversion (in a space station where the earth encircles the sky above us) of our present, so that exploration is something we do and in our character; and our post apocalyptic visions, so dominant in our culture currently, become relics in museums, gathering dust. Time is a prison. But the film passionately argues, let’s explore it to our limits.
The only conspiracy or rebellion we can offer against the relentlessness of time, against the universe’s progression toward entropy, is love; the act of committing to memory that which will be lost. Love is not a higher power in this film, but it is transcendental. In this model of the Cosmos, in this sentimental orrery, love cannot exist without time, the two are inverse, complimentary, entangled like quantum particles. Time’s very meaning is derived from the impermanence of life.