I really need your help to correct all mistakes and shorten the essay to less than 300 words. All feedback is highly appreciated. Thanks.
Since I was a little boy, I have realized how lucky I am to live in such a happy family. I love all of my family members, especially my mother, who strongly influences my life.
My mother is a wonderful wife and mother. Because of work, my father is often far from homw, so my mother has to do all household chores and take care of me on her own. She has taught me how to speak, to eat and to behav in a sensible way. Whenever I did something wrong, she just gently told me not to relapse into. When I was eleven, my family moved to a new lovely house in a crowded neighborhood. Only after a few days, I had made some new friends and they enticed me into the Internet. They showed me a lot of interesting online games and I easily became addicted to them. I played them too much everyday. I even cheated my mother to play games. My study at school became worse and worse as a result. At that time, I was about to join in the National Contest for Excellent Students from Primary School. As one of the best students of my province, everyone made sure that I would have passed it. But playing games had affected my test, and I was the only student to fail in my provincial team. It came as a shock to my teachers and my parents. My mother soon found out the reason. Then, she banned me from going out with friends, walking to school alone. It was also the very first time she hit me. I was so angry with her that I spoke cruel words to her and stormed into my room. I refused to follow what my mother had asked me to do. That night, I couldn't sleep, I walked outside her room and heard her crying and talking to herself: "Van, you are the only hope of me, why did you let me downm by cheating me and letting yourself distracted from studying?". And she kept crying. I gently return to my room and spent all night thinking about what I had done. I had disappointed the woman who had loved and sacrificed everything for me. Why did I do that? I kept blaming myself until falling into sleep. Next morning, I came to apologize her and stopped playing games, focused on studying and promised not to make such mistakes.
That was the most memorable tale in my childhood. Thanks to that, I always remind myself of trying more and more so that my mother can be proud of me.
A few grammar issues...
Whenever I did something wrong, she just gently told me not to relapse into.
Relapse is not a good word here. Maybe say she taught you to never make the same mistake twice.
I even cheated my mother to play games.
This is unclear (what do you mean specifically)
Then, she banned me from going out with friends, walking to school alone.
...friends and walking to school alone (unsupervised- if you want a fancier word)
"Van, you are the only hope of me, why did you let me downm by cheating me and letting yourself distracted from studying?".
This sentence needs to be re-worded, it sounds confusing.
Just remember to show this through your essay: you have made a mistake, you learned from it, you are a better person now, AND that makes you strive for higher goals, makes you more focused, and be sure to mention your long-term goals briefly. God luck in school!
Have you ever experienced true love? I have and this is why I believe in family. I believe that my true comfort is sitting at home with my family and just doing whatever. Weather its playing a board game, or just eating a family dinner. We can always find something to talk about and never once have we gotten through something without a laugh. My family will always be there for me and I will always do the same for them.
I believe that when times are tough, my family is true comfort. Even if the pain is as small as not finding the right hair style or as big as a death. I don’t need some silly food to heal my feelings, all I need is a little love from my family and suddenly everything seems just fine even when it isn’t. I believe in family because even if you give no love to them and get lots in return, they will still love you just the same. I don’t think I have EVER gone to one of my friends houses and said to myself, “you know, I am really jealous of their family; I wish we could be like that.” Most of the time I do the exact opposite because I never once have regretted that I was born to this family because I think that this is the best possible family I could ever ask for.
I believe that I am truly the most blessed child in the world to have such a providing, loving, caring, and compassionate family. I remember a few months ago when we were sitting in our garage trying to go through things to put in a yard sale, and we came across these books my twin sisters made in the 2nd grade. As my dad was reading them aloud for us all to hear, we were all in a circle around him bundled up in blankets sitting in lawn chairs, and I just remember thinking how wonderful I have it and how I would be crushed if I didn’t have my family. I also remember a few months ago my grandmother passed away and we didn’t morn in the sorrow, but instead we sat around a dinner table and told these miraculous stories about how she could never cook and what she was best at, complaining?. We sat there for hours just thinking about the good times we had with her. That’s just part of the many things that I truly love about my great family, they always know how to get a good laugh out of you or at least a chuckle. This showed me that even at the worst of times my family was always going to love and support me.
Lots of people think that they should have the perfect life, and I don’t want that even if I didn’t have to experience the bad things I have gone through if that means I wouldn’t have been able to have the good times that I had with my family then bring on the pain because my family and I will just overcome it. Ever one talks about, “living the life” and guess what, I believe that I am.
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